Monday, October 20, 2008








Miles Away From My Country

There should be a dictionary about all the cultural differences in every country. It would help the integration process of the immigrants who struggle in their new lives. I have been living in Chicago for two years, and I still endure difficulties to understand the new customs in the US. I often feel myself as I have to walk carefully to decipher the way of life in Chicago. Every day, I can feel the weight and the power of my own French upbringing. Even though I love my life in America, I still feel very far away from my country regarding the translation of the language, the relationship with people and the eating habits.

The English language is an important adjustment in my life as a French immigrant in the US. That is why I try so hard to go through this different language because I just want to belong to the new world by understanding what is going on. Whenever I’m in a store and ask for something in a very simple way and the person a front of me makes a facial expression like she or he doesn’t know what I’m looking for, I always feel lonely and deeply disoriented. Even though I know that I’ m not bicultural enough to understand all the tricks or the wisecracks that I could hear, I just miss the way I used to shop in France, by subtlety sharing the language with people. I also struggle with the pictorial language of American English when people use some sports words and expressions in a totally different context. For example, the idiomatic expression “ kick off “ is to start the game in football and is often used in a regular conversation to say that you are starting a discussion. This way of speaking is really different from my traditional way of idiomatic expressions in France. Up until now, my lack of knowledge in this language has made the transition to life harder.

Relationships are another important part of adjustment in my life as a French native in America. I always wonder if all of the difficulties that I have mentioned above follow from my hard time with relationships with American people. One of the biggest basic’s approach is the common huge hug to say” Hello”, instead of the traditional kisses in my country, and this still makes me uncomfortable. Even though I often find American people more welcoming during the first contact than French people, I also find it more difficult to go further into the relationship with them. For example, I’m always surprised when one of my neighbors waves at me, and says hello because I don’t really know him or her but he or her pretends to know me by just being familiar with my face. In Paris it is really hard to imagine this kind of behavior. Nobody will wave at you if they don’t know you at all. As I said, it also seems very hard to break the first approach and go forward. I often feel people busy, and it seems to be more difficult to go over the next step with them. This is how I feel about my experiences with people in Chicago, but I still want to try to go further and share time with friends as I used to do in Paris.
Customs around food are probably the most important part of the adjustment as a French immigrant, and it could also be the one I’ m ready to change. When I tried to invite American people over for a dinner at my home, they usually are not ready to go for it. First of all, my French time schedule doesn’t match with the early American dinner. Also, they were not used to sitting for a long dinner with a starter, a main course, cheese and desert. Everyone sits at the table for a long time, enjoying the moment with wine and chatting late into the night. It is very common to invite friends over according to the French tradition, even during the week. It may be true that French people work less than Americans, and that is probably why they have more time to hang out with friends. In this case, I have really lost the translation between my country and America because my American friends don’t take time to cook at home and usually invite us iout to a restaurant and pay the bill. It’s a huge, cultural gap that still makes me feel embarrassed. However, I’m ready to move in an early dinner because it’s healthier and it easier to get up in the next morning.

Adapting to a new life is full of complexity, and each case is different. For this reason, setting up a dictionary about all the cultural differences could be impossible. It definitely takes time to adjust to cultural differences between French and American customs. I’m thrilled to work on it, and I like to open my eyes for something I even don’t know, the outcome. It makes me think differently and open my mind widely. After struggling, you adapt yourself and you can become a citizen of the world. I will fight for my kids and hope they will take advantage at this fantastic opportunity to discover several aspects of different cultures. It will be a great asset for their future.

2 comments:

Marcela D. said...

The way you describe your emotions about the lack of language makes me think how hard it’s for those who we do not speak English very well. Situations in which sometimes is better to stay silent because people really would not understand us.
Also the frequent ‘huge’ that people use to say hello really surprised me, because in France as in Mexico its’ not frequent that somebody who you don’t know huge you as if we were friends or relatives.

Do you think your kids would be able one day to adapt in two cultures, the French and the American one?

marine said...

i REALLY HOPE SO, BECAUSE IF THEY WON'T, I WILL FIND LOOSING SOMETHING. We worh on it and it called for us, They are very lucky