American Dream

In old China, people always said: “gold mines are ubiquitous in America.” Until now, the dreamers are still dreaming about gold-digging. Only we, the Chinese immigrants living in the US, know how difficult it is living in this foreign country. Sometimes people will think of who they were. The rest of the time, they have to face who they are. From China to America, people may be perplexed in this transition. Different environment, different cultures, how is it even possible to compare America to China? However, there’s one thing that is evident. For me, America is not a place for dreaming, it is a place for transformation---to change my life.

The first thing I lost is confidence. Perhaps I was just an ordinary person in my country, but I could live there confidently. I was familiar with Chinese common language. Besides, I speak three dialects. I dared to go anywhere I wanted. At least, I could communicate with strangers if I needed to ask them for directions. In addition, I was not bad in my classes, and I was about to graduate from university in two years. Then one day, I was told that I would immigrate to America soon. It was a new hope for me at that time. However, the surroundings were not as I expected when I stood on this new land. Even though I felt excited when I was listening to the foreigners who spoke English fluently, I couldn’t find any other word to describe my situation but confused. “Time will change this,” I thought. One year has passed by, but I’m still the same as I was someone who would like to be invisible in front of the ENGLISHs.

Joyfulness had been the term of describing my character by my old friends, but it wasn’t anymore. In China, I would be easily pleased by something insignificant. A boat trip or mountain adventure was enough to make me excited for days. My relationships between friends were as pure as water. Respect and concern for each other had maintained our friendships. I was looking forward to meeting new friends who would be as the fellows I met. Disappointingly, America is full of busy footsteps. School, home and workplace are the three parts of a complete circle. People walk along the circle every day, and so do I. Someone said: “there is a tiny thing called selfishness hiding in the innermost depth of heart of everybody.” Its philosophic theory made me think of the nature of humans, I just observed it a little wider with a magnifier.

My dependence on my parents is disappearing even though I’m living with them. The adults told me that I didn’t need to do anything except study when I was in China. Although I tried to find a part time job when I enrolled in the university in a strange city, I failed. As usual, I received money from my parents every month, so I didn’t worry about my living expenses living in China. Nevertheless, as an adult in America, I have to work. My parents are still the stanchions on my both sides. What I want to do is maintain a balance by myself. Thus, I work two days per week for my tuition and other fees. Students who work as me in China cannot afford those costs. Maybe these are the gold mines in Chinese dreams---you can be independent in America.

Adapting to a new world will never be easy as dreaming, but my life just keeps on changing. Provisionally, I lost my way as the captain of the boat in the storm. When the sun comes out, what has been lost may be found out again, or there’s something that I only want to let go. Sometimes I have found that I was somewhat like the gold dreamers. We are all looking for what we want no matter if it is a dream or real. In the transformation of life, people will always find a new direction for the future. I’m in the process of pursuit, and I have a dream that my life will be fabulous someday.